Folbigg answered, «yes, along those lines».
She is being questioned for the first time in a judicial setting over diary entries that were used among other evidence to jail her for a minimum of 25 years for the murders of Patrick, Sarah and Laura, and for the manslaughter of Caleb — all aged between 19 days and 18 months when they died.
During a second day of intense cross-examination by her former husband Craig’s barrister, Margaret Cunneen, SC, Folbigg repeatedly denied certain diary entries referred to her killing her children.
In a December 1996 entry, before the birth of her fourth child, Laura, Folbigg wrote: «I know now that battling wills and sleep deprivation were the causes last time».
Mr Blanch asked, «When you say the causes last time, the causes of …?»
«The causes of them dying,» Folbigg answered, having earlier told him, «it was a wrong belief and a warped belief that my children had decided they weren’t staying with me any more.»
In a January 1998 entry she referred to Sarah dying «with a bit of help.»
Folbigg told the inquiry, «she died, yes, from God, fate, something else — not me.»
She told the inquiry she was depressed when writing many entries and admitted to feeling jealous, though not angry, about Mr Folbigg’s bond with some of the children.
The inquiry, held at the NSW Coroner’s Court in Lidcombe, is also taking into account evidence about genetics, forensic pathology and sudden infant death syndrome.
The court previously heard Folbigg’s father murdered her mother by stabbing her to death. She said on Monday that a diary entry in which she described herself as being her «father’s daughter» was a reference to him being a «loser» rather than a killer.
Ms Cunneen dictated an entry from June 19, 1999, in which Folbigg described her father’s fatal actions as «selfish, unthoughtful»: «information is finally coming out and more and more I discover that they all, everyone of them, are responsible for my predicament.»
«In that passage you attribute the moral blame for killing your children to your father and ‘every one of them’ who set your life on a course that ended up with you killing your children,» Ms Cunneen said, with Folbigg saying that was «incorrect».
Folbigg also described how she used her diaries, the subject of intense scrutiny into her mindset over the 10-year period in which her children died from February 1989 to March 1999, as «a friend and a confidante».
Earlier, she said that it concerned her Mr Folbigg had read one of her diaries, saying, «diaries aren’t meant for other people to be reading.»
The inquiry continues.
Angus Thompson is a court reporter for the Sydney Morning Herald.